Thursday, December 11, 2014

Let's Talk Some More About Divorce

So my last post on divorce resonated with lots of you.    It's become one of the most read posts on this bloggy.    I was amazed, really.       And I hate that for you but love that you can relate.  

Because let's face it…when you're going through a divorce, you're pretty sure you're the only person in the first world that's experienced it.

But when you look around,  it's kinda everywhere.   Separated, currently divorcing, divorced…there are lots of us.   

Let's talk some more about the facts

1.   One of the most notable and descriptive incidents in our life, really, is that we're divorced.  Even if we're remarried and live happily ever after…we're still divorced.   It's a title that stays with us forever.   Love it or hate it.  It never goes away.

2.   Being divorced with kids is hard.  The best kind of divorce is the kind with no kids.    Kids shouldn't have to live in two houses.   They shouldn't.  But they do.   Lots of kids.    All over the place. A good relationship with your ex is key.   That and tons of organization and collaboration.   Because really, where is the damn backpack?

3.   Having your house to yourself is awesome.  It is.   If you're divorced and don't openly admit this, you're lying.  And if you're lying, I #gotchooboo and I get it.    But it is awesome a couple days a week and #iaintlying.  

4.  You can't listen to the noise.   Humans love to speculate.   Especially in situations such as this.  When I think back, I've been loosely accused of everything from turning lesbian (not hating on the lesbians, but a lesbian I'm not) to a sociopath (the serial killer kind, I think)  to a gold digger.   I like the gold digger theory best cuz I kinda make my own money and don't want yours.   Unless you're taking me the casino.  And letting me play craps on your dime all night.   Then we'll talk.     But that's another post.     So yes, you can't listen to the noise. 

5.   It makes you skeptical.   Of real love.     As we all know, this life can change on a dime.    We see amazing relationships but time, people, situations…they change.   And  when you're divorced, it seems like no relationship is secure.   No matter how good it looks from the outside.  

6.  You laugh at yourself more.   Not much is really a #bfd.   It's just not.   So act like it, people.   

7.   Life goes on.   You have a new normal and there are positives and negatives.    Time passes and suddenly things are "normal."   Your new normal.     And somehow you figure out your new normal and somehow its well…. "normal."

8.    You get special girl powers.    Being on your own definitely gives you a little sense of #girlpower like you've never had.   It's crazy but you really do figure stuff out.    And if all else fails,  call your dad.  Cuz dad's always know what's wrong with your dryer.

So yes, as I mentioned in my last post, it's not all unicorns and rainbows but it gets better,  my friends.     If you're currently going through the chaos, as I know some of you are, I'm sorry.   Truly, I am.   But just know that "this too shall pass."   It will.

1 comment:

  1. I certainly agree! There are definitely a lot of undercurrents one must deal with when heading into those kinds of life choices, especially divorce. However, what's important is to be fully covered and secured before anything else. One should always be prepared to whatever road the situation may take them, bet it through legal aspects or personal ones. Anyway, thanks for sharing that! I wish you all the best!

    Sandra Walker @ Eric Risk